October 16

10 Signs You Might Be A Redneck Writer

6  comments

Redneck writer

There are plenty of terrific websites out there dispensing wisdom to indie authors, but now and again we just need to take a breather from stockpiling all that good info and have a laugh. Here’s my twist on how to tell if you really have what it takes to go indie … or if you’re simply a Redneck Writer!

  1. An editor asks for a first draft and you hand her a Bud Light

  2. You think cover stock is the black and white cow on the front of your “Herding for Dummies” book

  3. Your publisher encourages you to get a twitter handle and you call a mechanic to have one installed in your truck

  4. The title of your new cookbook is “101 More Ways to BBQ Roadkill”

  5. You weigh yourself in manuscript pages, and clock in at twenty reams

  6. An agent turns down your crime novel when you attach your prison records

  7. Your marketing efforts consist of spray painting the title of your horror trilogy on your neighbor’s roof in red

  8. The setting for your cozy romance series is the overgrown car in your backyard

  9. You feed your printer used fast food bags to print out queries for your children’s book “My First Smells”

  10. The opening line of your bestseller is “Call me Howdy!”

Who’s up for number eleven? Drop your zingers in the comments.


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  1. I just love your 10 Signs You Might Be A Redneck Writer. I am a country girl and love rednecks so much. I needed a laugh today, so thank you for brightening my day. Love your books!!

    1. Thanks Angela! Glad I was able to brighten your day in small way and I’m thrilled to hear you’re enjoying my books. Thanks for brightening my day too! 🙂

  2. 11. Title of your first attempt at fantasy is “Why it is not a good idea to rope a fairy.”
    12. Title of first attempt at sci-fi “What happens to your horse when you lasso E.T.”
    13. Title of first dystopian novel, “Is barbequed zombie cannibalism?”

  3. Thanks for the chortle!!!

    When your referral to E.T. was really the timetable for the Eastern Train and the close encounter of the third kind was avoiding the rattler after jumping the ravine to get away from the coyote…

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